Integrity, Compassion, and Not Chasing What’s Not Meant for You
I woke up this morning with one word on repeat in my mind: Integrity. It’s been weighing on me heavily as I navigate the job hunt.
It’s a sea of job links. Mustering the courage to send blind messages. Reaching out to your community on repeat. Teetering the line between being assertive and holding back just enough to not feel desperate.
There are incredibly talented, capable, driven people ready to go above and beyond to prove their value. We need work for our livelihood. We have mortgages to pay, families to support, food to put on tables, and pets that need the vet. We are putting massive amounts of effort, courage, authenticity, and intention into what we put out into the universe.
I've come to liken the job hunt to modern dating. It’s a cultural shift that, at times, treats people as highly dispensable. They could both use a little more integrity. To me integrity is communication, following through, doing what you say you’re going to do, doing the right thing, treating people with compassion.
When I look at this process through the lens of my own craft, it’s glaringly obvious: the "candidate experience" can be a deeply broken user journey. At its core, good design is about empathy and intentional touchpoints. Right now, the hiring process could use a little more of that human element. Let's take a look.
The "Non-Existent" Phase: You upload a resume, click apply, and it goes into oblivion. It's like blindly swiping right on an app and then…that’s it, nothing. In this era, companies have enough technology to at least build a “thank you, but we cannot move you forward” Agent. (Want to hire me to build that for you??)
The Ghost: Then, a human connection! You get a screening call or a team portfolio review. Kind of like a first date. Your hopes are high, you feel seen. But then… straight up GHOST. You're told you'll hear back...by a certain date. You reach out, showing genuine interest—no games, just being real. Nothing.
The Breadcrumbing: Hooray, a semi-vague response! You’re still on the radar. “So you’re saying there’s a chance?” But again, that’s it. In the past, I would have fallen for the breadcrumb and chased the crumbs more. But our energy is too precious, and chasing creates an unnatural tension. I fully believe in not chasing what’s not meant for you. The universe will give us the right gift. That’s having integrity for oneself. Still, people deserve reciprocal, direct, and honest communication.
The Good: But let’s get to the good. You make it through most of the interview stages. You’re building a relationship, going on "several dates," and things are positive. But then, there’s a realization that the connection isn't quite right. Instead of disappearing, they are direct, compassionate, and treat you like a human. They remain communicative and mutually responsive.
And even better—when you ask, they provide constructive and helpful feedback. To me, this is integrity.
I recently went through a process with a company where I didn’t land the job, but I want to scream from the rooftops to praise their professionalism, compassion, and integrity. I wish I could mention them here, but I won’t.
I understand that as a relationship builds, it’s natural to give more effort. But please remember: those of us on the job search are putting our all into this. We prepare, we show genuine interest, and we stress. It’s our livelihood.
All we ask is for basic communication, responsiveness, follow-through, and brief updates. Those are the little, low-effort touchpoints that can make all the difference in our “off” and somewhat overwhelming days.
